Let Me Heal Your Pain
by Spifferoo
Summary: Byakuya still pains over Hisana's death. Renji decides to help his captain relieve his pain. RenByu


**Title: **Let Me Heal Your Pains  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairings:** Renji + Byakuya, Byakuya + Hisana (sort of)  
**Disclaimer:** I dont own Bleach! Do not sue me for you getting scarred by my fic!  
**Warning/s:** If you don't like yaoi, run away. I dont know if my fic is a spoiler for any particular eppy...the song lyrics I put in random intervals are from "Mother Earth" by Within Tempt. And god...I made Byakuya a really uke person...**  
Summary:** Renji helps to heal his captain from some past miseries.

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**Let Me Heal Your Pain**

**_Once you will know my dear,  
You don't have to fear..._**

It was a stormy night when Kuchiki Byakuya had cried.

Perhaps it was his marriage with a non-noble girl that got him into a fight with the rest of his noble family. Perhaps it had been the fact that the family wanted him to understand the duties of his family in a hard way. A painful way that he will never forget.

They had forbidden him from seeing Hisana when she caught her mysterious illness. Perhaps it was the Kuchiki family's plan to kill her to get Byakuya to listen to them. No matter how many threats Byakuya had claimed on each of his family members' ear, they forbade him to even console his wife. His only kind, understanding, now dying wife.

At the final moment of her death, Rukia and Renji somehow managed to lead her brother to Hisana's bedside through the vast hidden chambers of the Kuchiki mansion. Approaching the bed where Hisana lay in tentative steps, Byakuya saw the agonized face of Hisana: pale, desolate, and ill, but happy to see him again.

They did not speak, in fear of the family listening, but their eyes revealed everything: yearning, hopes, and crushed dreams of their younger days. All they did was gaze into each others eyes, and hold each others hands as if they will never let go.

"Byakuya..."

With that single name uttered, Hisana closed her dark eyes for the last time. Never again, she would comfort Byakuya when his family harassed him with his duties and works, nor would she be there to give him the small ray of hope Byakuya lived with everyday.

The funeral was a hushed-up ceremony the family hastily conducted at the same day, at night. The storm had not ceased, and soaked the lamps until they would not lit. The people attending were cold and miserable. But the only person who was like this on both the inside and outside was Byakuya. He was too horrified and pained to see the wasted body of his wife in a simple coffin that he went outside, away from the funeral procession, and cried. His tears mingled with the pouring rain as he called to the skies in agony:

_"Hisana!"_

**_A new beginning always starts at the end..._**

It was raining again, without any mercy for the usual pedestrians in Soul Society. The soaked people cursed the rain, which practically made anyone who walked outside looked like they had been drowned. Besides the torrents of water that assaulted the Society, there was thunder too, a display of Mother Nature's fury upon the Death God's homes and offices.

Abarai Renji, of course, was one of these victims. Running around all over the place to obey to his taichou's beck and call, he was soaked over and over again, and made himself resemble a wet, if not strange, seal.

After all his messenger boy duties were over at night, Renji was very glad to sit in the relatively warm office he shared with Byakuya. With steam literally coming out from his wet clothes from the warmth, he half glowered at the cold-faced captain and half working on his papers. Meanwhile, Byakuya seemed to concentrate on his own paperwork, but in reality, he was reminiscing of the fateful day of Hisana's death. Looking outside the window, where the rain furiously attacked anything in its path, Byakuya shuddered as he remembered all too clearly.

_Hisana..._

"Taichou?" Byakuya suddenly snapped back to his little office world, and saw Renji, with a bored expression and the ink brush hanging from his mouth, studying his taichou inquisitively. "What 'sa wrong? You haven't finished da' draft and now your hands are trembling..."

Byakuya looked at his hands. His one hand grasping the horsehair brush near the ink pot, and it was shaking and scattering droplets of ink everywhere, but only a few on the actual paper. Cursing to himself that he had wasted paper with his carelessness, he dropped the ink and cleaned the rest of his paperwork. He would always finish tomorrow. "Nothing is wrong, Renji...I am...just tired." As he said this, he got up from his desk, and collapsed (still slightly trembling) on a chair next to Renji's own desk.

Renji had a puzzled look, and looked at his taichou for a moment before inquiring softly: "Is...it that dream agin taichou? Tell me..."

Byakuya did not say anything, but Renji understood. Having some sympathy over the man he respected for battle prowess and grace, Renji went closer to his captain, close enough to see the slight fear in the dark orbs of Kuchiki Taichou.

"Kuchiki taichou...you need ta' stop dwelling in the past...or that would be your ruin..."

"I know that saying Renji. But that will not stop me from missing her," Byakuya murmured quietly. "It will be hard for me to forget about the one that I love."

Renji paused a moment before speaking. He, Abarai Renji of the sixth division, had been looking at his captain not only with respect, but with affection. Byakuya, of course, was a much older man, but his face did not show it. His youthful smooth face was like of the true god, beautiful...and possibly untouchable and inaccessible.

And the fact that Byakuya stilled wanted his Hisana pained Renji. Yes, he had been there as Byakuya remained with Hisana during her last moments, but it did not prevent Renji from loving Byakuya, even now.

Slowly, Renji began to yawn. His clothes and body was mostly dry except his back and hair, and he was sleepy from the warmth of the room. Also, the exercise from delivering messages made him hungry and thirsty. Getting up from his seat, he decided some booze won't hurt him.

"Kuchiki Taichou, do you want to have a coupla' drinks with me? It's sorta cold and I think it'll warm ya up..."

Byakuya, broken from his depressing reverie, decided to follow. 'What would a little drink do anyway?' he thought, as Byakuya, dignified as a king, followed.

"Yes, Renji, I think I shall."

**_Once you will know my dear,  
You don't have to fear!_**

Byakuya was not too fond of alcohol, but the heady feeling from his drinks made him feel oddly...good. In Renji's private room with the rain drumming outside the window, he sat on a roughly-made bed in the room, sipping sake. He did not drink as much as Renji, who was a pretty heavy drinker and was downing his seventeenth bowl, but he was feeling the woozy effects the same. Maybe it was because he had not consumed alcohol much in ages. 'Might as well drown myself with this than misery...'

The room was lit dimly with simple lanterns, and the shadows the light threw were fascinating, and they accentuated the contours of Renji's lean and sinewy frame, making him look almost...desirable.

Meanwhile, Renji was enjoying himself. With another bowl in his hand, he downed the drink in a matter of seconds. Even though he was not drinking irresponsibly as he used to with other fukataichous in bars, it was not a pretty sight. But it was priceless to see Byakuya, the ice-cold man of dark secrets, have a cute shade of pink as the alcohol flowed through his deceptively slim body. Renji smiled 'he even looks graceful and beautiful in his drunkenness...'

As the alcohol slowly got hold of Byakuya, he began to talk a little more. In his quiet commanding tone, he started to talk about his life and the small interesting details of his family. There was no sexual stories in any of them, but they were better than the smut-stories and scandals of the Soul Society Renji heard in the halls.

And suddenly during Byakuya's intoxicated stupor (this was slight, he had not consumed even two bowls of sake) Renji wanted to kiss him. Kiss him in the delicate lips that now slowly drank and ingested the alcohol. He also found his captain's throat alluring, especially when it moved slowly as Byakuya drank. Especially with the usual scarf lowered around his shoulders, he was a stunning figure.

"Kuchiki Taichou..."

"Yes, Renji?"

"May I kiss you?"

"hrm-mf!"

It was either from the influence of alcohol, or his desires. Without waiting for an answer, Renji crept to Byakuya for a deep, passionate kiss. Tasting the alcohol in Byakuya's mouth, Renji vaguely had a sensation as if he had completed his life goal, and now the rewards was only his.

Byakuya felt the kiss, even though he was not dead drunk, a myriad of thoughts, both in horror and pleasure, assaulted his brain. 'This cannot be! This cannot happen!' But he fell into the kiss anyway, letting the younger man's tongue explore the caverns of his mouth, moaning. It was not the gentle, quiet kiss of Hisana, it was a man's kiss, for it had the passions Renji had during their fights, their spars, and more. Feeling the ardor from the fukataichou, Byakuya submitted willingly.

When they broke the long kiss, Byakuya looked at him in a mix of disappointment and surprise. He blushed, and unbelievingly reached his slim fingers to his lips, feeling the impression Renji had placed there. Meanwhile, Renji stared into those eyes of confusion, and began to slowly undo Byakuya's robes.

"Renji..."

"Taichou, you have been too deep into pain, let me heal you with my love for you..."

"But..."

"Don't worry taichou, it will be alright..."

Saying this, they came into another kiss, more passionate than their initial. Catching up to Renji's game, Byakuya's tongue fought for dominance with Renji's own, and for a few minutes, they performed their delicate dance with their tongues for the glory of the kiss. Eventually, Renji's rigor won, and re-explored and reclaimed Byakuya's mouth again. Groaning with pleasure, they eventually stopped to breathe; but Renji decided to attack Byakuya's now exposed collarbone and shoulder, playfully nipping each part of Byakuya's smooth skin, making marks that said Byakuya was his only, and only his.

"ai...Renji..." Byakuya panted softly on the bed (its so convenient, ne?) with Renji all over him. A deeper blush crowned his face, and his raven hair was astray and awry from their little "fight"

Renji ignored Byakuya's cries and started moving his mouth and tongue downward on the older man's body. He came upon his chest, and attacked the two little nubs of flesh on it. He teased one with his mouth, teething it and licking it until he was rewarded with gasps from the usually untouchable taichou. It aroused and amused him that such a man can be broken so easily...

Exploring little by little of the taut, warm skin on Byakuya, Renji slowly moved to his slim stomach. Before Renji could enjoy attacking a new territory of skin, he beheld Byakuya lying on the floor.

Byakuya was still in a paroxysm (is that word correct? o.O") of pleasure he had received from Renji. His raven hair, usually roughly in order, was unkempt and crowned his blushing face. A sheen of sweat glistened softly in the light on his exposed skin, and he was breathing with pleasure while his mind was in a storm, 'Is this how Hisana felt as I did the same to her? Why...why...' Renji, seeing the pained expression on his taichou, rose up to give him another, more gentler kiss. As he did, Byakuya shuddered and attempted to back away. 'It was not right to love another man! I was not right!' But Renji hoisted the older man back on the bed, and clambered over Byakuya lying on his back. Now exploring the delicate earlobes by sucking and nibbling the skin, he whispered consolingly:

"It will feel better after I am done taichou, please trust me..."

Byakuya said nothing, but Renji gazed into Byakuya's gaze. It seemed honest, trusting, telling him to continue his fulfillment. So he obliged.

Now with Byakuya's chest and stomach exposed, Renji smiled to himself as he reached slowly for the main part of his goal. The lower body. Surprisingly gracefully, Renji undid the sash and the garments that impeded him from seeing his captain's smooth legs. Looking at the man in bare glory, Renji was getting aroused.

But Byakuya too, decided to play his game for once. Rising to Renji to give him a chaste kiss, he began to untie the man's pony tail. As the crimson locks spilled over the youth's shoulders, Byakuya ran his fingers through the hair, desiring his fukataichou before him.

"nngh..."

Resisting Byakuya's act of dominance, Renji again pushed Byakuya down on the bed, this time whispering darkly in his ear "Let ME pleasure you, you do not need to pleasure me...yet."

Continuing his travel on Byakuya's body, Renji slowly started to lick the elder's taut stomach, delving his tongue into the shallow belly button and reaping the rewards of the captain groaning in pleasure. Pausing on his attack near the groin, he began to stroke Byakuya's growing member, bringing out a new wave of pleasure to Byakuya, unbidden and unexpected, from a misplaced desire within his soul.

Now taking some control over his lust and ignoring the his own body's cries to be sated, Renji took the member whole with his mouth, suppressing his gag reflex and sucking it gently, slowly. He grinned to himself as Byakuya started to react sensually from his touches and licks. It was rather amusing to see the usually stoic man break so easily. He licked the length sensually, and then lightly brushing his lips to the tip where his seed started to leak out from the slit. But he did not let him reach climax...yet.

The now lone lantern that lit the room bobbed as Renji moved slowly, sensually, and smoothly and positioned himself with Byakuya, straddling the older man. Now facing Byakuya with his hair astray and his skin pulsating with pleasure, Renji settled him comfortably on his lap before taking his clothes off...slowly, and sensually, and making sure his captain would see the greatly toned and muscular body that hid under Renji's uniform. As he began to undo the straps of his pants, Byakuya looked down shyly at the groin area; but he averted his gaze in revulsion at the lurid thoughts he had for Renji, and screaming in his head that maybe this was wrong...horribly wrong...

But it did not stop him from licking his lips at the sight of Renji's sexy body. His usually cold eyes now was hazed with desire, and in fearful anticipation of what will happen next.

"Renji...ne..."

Renji looked up at his taichou again. He seemed afraid a little, but Renji comforted his captain by kissing his collarbone again. Slowly positioning himself so that his own stiff member was near Byakuya's entrance, he worried a little. They did not even properly lube, and his taichou may feel the pain.

"Are you ready taichou?"

Byakuya gave an honest gaze. "Go ahead."

So Renji obliged. He entered into Byakuya without preparing him for the pain. Byakuya gasped, and began to grip Renji's back painfully. Even though Byakuya didn't mean it, tears of agony burst forth from his face. Renji softened, and let his body relax and get used to Renji inside him; he consoled Byakuya by licking away his tears, and whispering comforting words and apologies.

_It will be alright...its okay..._

As Byakuya slowly adjusted to his situation, Renji thrust inside his captain forcefully and slowly, making him feel each one was good and lasting as the other. When Byakuya managed to feel the thrusts not so much pain as pleasure, a thrilling sense of terror ran through his being, both enjoying and nervous about this new feeling of submission and penetration and leaping desire with deep satisfaction. 'Was this how a woman felt when can take a mane insider her like this? Was this is the true meaning of pleasure?'

When he whimpered and groaned not only with pain but with a deep joy he had never felt before, he now believed that perhaps the love of a man loving another man was not so bad...as he lost his self amongst Renji's passionate lovemaking. He even went with the thrusts, adding friction to his own erection. As he was released, he fell over on the bed, taking Renji with him into darkness and mystery, away from self. A few moments after, Renji came inside Byakuya, and held his proclaimed lover tightly, smelling the musk and sweat from his beautiful body as he slept.

As Renji began to snore in blissful sleep, Byakuya lay awake, holding his newfound joy.

**_Until the end of time...  
Until the end of time..._**

Next morning, Renji and Byakuya were indifferent with each other, as if their bedding incident had never happened. The rain had stopped, and the sun gave glory to the Soul Society crowned with raindrops. It was indeed a beautiful day, and Byakuya lost some of his former melancholy. He was at peace.

Peace...

Byakuya looked at Renji in his office now, where Renji was sullenly cramming several reports for the final deadline. Usually Renji did not care much about finishing such menial tasks, but he seemed sad, for a moment. As if he was regretting something in the past.

Renji slightly avoided Byakuya that day, and it puzzled him. It was true that they were both drunk when Byakuya got laid, but to both, the event was clear as the day. Worried about Renji's behavior, Byakuya decided to encounter his fukataichou that day. And he did, by cornering him at some obscure hall were old offices were gathering dust.

"Renji..."

"Yes, taichou?" Renji had a slightly bitter tone into his answer. "What ya want?"

"Why have you eluded me for the past few hours? It is not as if..."

"No, its because of you and your damn'd memories..."

"What?"

"You...you always being faithful to your Hisana to your death. You, who I loved for the many years...CENTURIES that I have served you. You probably think of my debauchery last night as some nightmare now, and thinking that I am a disgusting horny slut. I am surprised no one has executed me for my sins. I tried to comfort you but you think of it as nothing. You-"

Renji couldn't say more of his painful thoughts, for now Byakuya kissed him, pinning Renji to the wall as he did so. As his tongue, now dominating over Renji, explored the young one's mouth, he murmured to Renji.

"Renji, I do not consider you as a debased whore. You are not those. I thank you greatly for your assistance that night, and it wont dwell on my mind as a nightmare. You are my love and always. Please believe me..." Byakuya gave him a pained look, and began to embrace his fukataihou in a comforting embrace.

And this was how they began their passionate relationship...a rebirth of love.

**_She goes her way..._**

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